May...

May.. I think it is just natural or understood, to frequently reflect upon this time one year ago.  Becky in ICU, the uncertainty, the medical jargon, the heart-wrenching, emotional to the core decisions to be made and more. I think of last Mother's Day, when Abbey was feeding Becky soft ice cream, which I think was her last intake of 'normal' food, we had a meaningful, heartfelt Mother's Day in the ICU room..Yet of course, it felt so very surreal. Now it is our first Mother's Day without Becky. We will give unending thanks and praise for the great wife and mother she was...She was indeed 'all-in' when it came to 'Mommyhood'.  Of course Abbey can still 'feel' Mom. Sometimes words are just not enough to describe how we felt one year ago and words are sometimes not enough to describe how we feel now.  BUT,  I think I can say, Abbey and I, we are doing OK. We are doing the normal stuff of life; school, work, social outings, and finding humor in just what we will do for dinner night after night. (My cereal pouring skills are unequaled :) It does chuckle us on a daily basis. But this is just part of the adjustment...but we are adjusting..and as I have said, looking forward to new endeavors..embracing adventures.
In just two weeks, we will see the one year 'homecoming' of Becky..I know the day will be laced with emotion, but that's OK, just got to go through it...I have said countless times, along with the grief, I alternately give thanks for the many, many wonderful, indescribable moments seen during this illness..this journey. We are so thankful for those who were part of this journey..truly, truly loving, caring human beings...who also sacrificed their valuable time to comfort and support Abbey and I. Sweet blog readers, I don't think God ever promised this life to be without trial, without unexplainable events that will alter your life.. And of course, many will not experience life-altering events, and that's just the variety of life here on earth..and that's good, that's really OK....Some things are just unexplainable.. Yes, I do know the Lord can bless you beyond what you ever thought or dreamed, yes it can happen and does. One can live a life of superb health, achieved dreams and enough finances to have all they need and more, maybe not all you want, or maybe you will have all you want and that's indeed good;  embrace it. Our personal ride was indeed dramatic, but of course, many others have had a much more dramatic journey, and again, some things are just unexplainable, we each just have to endure our paths. Becky was so brave during this eventful ride. We would often laugh at me being the chicken when it came to medical stuff, but of course, I adjusted or coped. She is now in a place of superb health and with certainty I exclaim, there are; 'no worries', none.. I am indescribably grateful for this hope..think on it...

 Celebrate life, Live large.. Big love to you all..Big love and hugs to all you Mom's..

Bill and Abbey