I think, well I know, many caretakers, spouses, after enduring or experiencing the lengthy illness of a loved one, feel perhaps stirred to conquer or embrace other endeavors to 'sail away'...Maybe not join the Peace Corps in a wore torn country, or enroll in a nursing program or Harvard med school, but the journey propels them, emboldens them to think and/or want to pursue other horizons. Many of the grief books I have read say this can be quite common, and how many charities or benefits-foundations are seen because a loved one was stirred? Well, I suppose I am no different. Yet, time is the great equalizer. One must let time and a sense of life normalcy become present before the world conquering is assumed. Ok, maybe not world conquering, but some form of adventure even if it's within a zipcode area. I guess I must let more time pass before this adventure becomes a reality..What adventure? I'll be back for an exciting answer right after this week's long commercial break, in other words, stay tuned, just don't know. I am blessed to be where I am...to have the job I have, I truly am. Thanksgiving, you bet, I give thanks to have a job...
I have a daughter to guide and support. I have a car that needs gasoline..I have expenses just like you do..and these expenses really don't much care about my need for other endeavors or wonderful foundations. So, common sense and calm should also be in the recipe as calendar days and months are checked off...
OK, just had to vent this...Perhaps because I went to City Of Hope today..to visit someone I knew hospitalized there? Plus maybe I needed to feel the last days of Becky being there...in some strange way helping with the healing process..maybe that too. but mostly, it was to see someone I knew being treated. Prayers to these wonderful people. It was good to see nurse Emily and others..really was..really DOES help with the healing process..and I do believe that process is going OK for Abbey and me. With grief, there is NO set pattern for anyone..no exactness..as mentioned before, everyone walks a unique grief road..unique to them..no two persons are the same stamp when it comes to enduring grief. So I say to anyone enduring grief..Your road is your road. I recall that great philosopher Forrest Gump..Grief is sorta, kinda indeed like a box of chocolates..but the twist is, most the time you do know what you are going to get with grief. Tears, heartache, sometimes hopelessness, but sometimes just never know what you are going to feel like after you get it..or when you will get the grief moments. Ya just never know what you are going to get, when you get it..I know this analogy is perhaps a stretch, but it just felt right for this moment. I am thankful for these silly analogies..they somehow produce a lighthearted moment when needed. And yes, in grief, lighthearted moments will come..may take a day, may take a month, but they will come..
Thank you God for humor..for laughter, for providing hope..when all may seem lost..thank you...
Onward forward..Celebrate this wonderful life,
Bill and Abbey
