Christmas 2013...

Abbey and I, we are having a fulfilling Christmas week...I suppose a summation would be:   we feel 'better' this year than of course the prior two Christmases.  A bit lighter in heart and soul.  We went to the cemetery on Christmas day and had some good talk, reflection and tears...the cemetery at Christmas has an oddity, in that some the 'decorations' are so colorful and beautiful...we took note of this.  We talked of how Mom, Becky loved Christmas..decorating, baking...assembling her favorite manger scene she has had since childhood and yes, Abbey and I, we also set it up.  Abbey baked magic bars just like Mom used to make them.  Such a wonderful tradition...and the smell throughout the house is medicinal.   We so appreciate our cozy, quaint home.  We appreciate the memories of holidays past...and of course, we are still creating great memories..
FYI:  Helping to make Christmas even more warm and easier to navigate was the fact that our church produced a really fun, fulfilling 'show'/program this year..it began with lots of popular Christmas songs.."White Christmas".."Winter Wonderland" and more..then segued into the 'reason for the season' songs..So many were touched...so many heard meaningful songs and eloquent words spoken by a pastor. As we all know, this is a time when many are hurting..I mean really hurting..lonely, searching for comfort.  I think we provided great comfort..and good news..

I hope you all had a fulfilling Christmas.. May you still 'feel' some excitement this time of year...May 2104 be a healthy, adventurous, yet also stable year.  May hurts be soothed..may the trials be manageable..and may the mountain peaks be higher than you imagined.



Onward forward..

Bill :)

City Of Hope today..

Yes...Just like to visit at Christmastime..and always try to see Nurse Emily and I was able to see someone I know get discharged today!  Also a reason for the visit.  So excited for them. Only three weeks at the hospital and still said it felt like forever!  But what an enormous blessing to go home within such a time frame.
I had a good visit seeing them and others.  Of course, I reflected upon the time spent there...and I say ..my heart was lighter.  Indeed, the heaviness felt in past visits was lessened significantly.  In the journey of moving on..I can only assume we want this to be the case..and it was. And one funny, amusing note..I even zoned out and drove by the usual turn I take toward the hospital.  I thought this was quite entertaining.  A few even commented on my 'looking better' than last time..OK, well I'll take it.  I think my step was lighter..perhaps my eyes were brighter.  My words were even more rapid in delivery.  Who knows..I was a bit surprised to actually here this..but again, I will absorb it.
I saw the faces of a few who certainly were burdened.  I have been in that arena..

 I do hope all is well with you. We sometimes feel overly burdened with our Christmas duties..May it not be so.  May the true joy of Christmas be felt..and shared, for love came down.   

Enjoy...enjoy...

Bill

18....18..18...!

Head shaking..eyes glazed...staring into the horizon...sweet, warm memorable pictures of past years, past moments..All a part of my last few days as I see my daughter..the young lady become 18 years of age.   With children, as many of you know...the days, months and years can sometimes seem like 10 minutes,  though when we were holding the baby at 2am with the upset tummy, or bandaging countless boo-boos or letting them come to your bed because they had a bad dream.. we perhaps occasionally thought..can't wait until they get a little older.  Then when they are 7 or 8..you sometimes think the same..then in adolescence you may think it just a little bit more..and then when the young lady..the young man emerges and presents different and heart searing challenges..you suddenly think..or wish they were the baby again, the little boy or girl, the adolescent..and I mean this in the most endearing way..But there they are..young adults you soon will see walk out the door, drive or fly away to far places..and be confronted with huge real life challenges..that they will have to face, solve and/or endure.  You hope and pray you have done your earthly best to guide them..to encourage and model for them wise decision-making.   But you know, as we have been told..'we have to learn on our own'..and they will do the same..learn to live on their own...to navigate this uncertain, strange..yet amazingly beautiful world as the unique person they have become.  As we often do: we pray, we petition, "Dear Lord, please protect my baby as she/he seeks out, carves out a life of their own."
My sweet wife would have said...'celebrate life' and that is what Abbey will try to do..for she has seen her mother try her best to live fully even when the day was far from a celebratory action..My daughter sat in an ICU room with her mother on the last day her mom took breaths on this earth..Abbey's memory of that day and her mother's devastating illness..may dim over time..and some of the fade will indeed be welcomed but I pray she will remember a mother strong in resolve, excellent of character and integrity, boundless in encouragement...and loved God with heart and soul.  Abbey will explore the world..and I want her too..and I know she will have many life-tools to take with her..and two words that will resonate in the deepest canals of her heart and soul...'celebrate life'.
I hope we all..no matter the age..will do our best to celebrate this life on earth...The days can sometimes be blanketed with hardship..the heart can be weighed down with the worries and trials of life..it is inevitable..but carry on we must..carry on we will.  Let us help one another...
May you feel 18 again...

 God Bless you and keep you all...never forget how to have some fun..
And I am still in awe of being in touch with the stem cell donor!...

Much Love,

Bill