Each day..

Continue to be inspired and touched to the core by the many who have shown such great love and care during this time. We all know how the human touch, a calm voice, a listening ear can soothe the grief. Thank you. Abbey and I send an immeasurable cargo of love back at you.
Of course, our hearts have a cavity of sadness and disbelief..Yes, I know this will subside, but the boundary for this declination has no time stamp. Again, thank you for soothing this cavity with your prayers and support..

I was just perusing through a few past cards and letters Becky and I wrote to each other. All I can say is wow. I encourage you to take the time to do so..no matter the situation you may currently be in...Yes, some words can revisit some delicate and perhaps tenuous moments, but some words can assemble a bridge to warmth and smiles.

Abbey doing OK, getting out...but also likes the comfort of home. She made a wonderful dish today..she wants to experiment with recipes..I love it.

Much love to you all..may we all count our blessings..really..

Celebrate Life,

Bill and Abbey

Never underestimate..

Went to get a latte at a local coffee shop this AM..I had forgotten the lady who served somehow knew of Becky's condition, who knows, I may have been in a spouting mood one day and briefly mentioned to her the 'road' being traveled..She asked me today; 'how is your wife?"..I looked at her with a slightly surprised faced, again, not realizing she knew of Becky's illness. I told her of my sweet wife's passing. The wonderful server who did not know this morning when she stepped into work, she would be giving someone a hug and in an instant contribute to the sooothing of grief, did just that. She gave me a hug with tears in her eyes, and of course, tears began to fill mine. She enveloped me with arms, a hug that will and should never be underestimated. I suppose she could have just stayed behind the counter and said..consoling words, that would have been just fine, but with all the genuiness she could muster, she ASKED me if she could hug me, yes asked me, thinking maybe it was not appropriate, or otherwise. I had no time to think about it, I simply allowed it, and thus 'medicine' was administered. She didn't have to do this, but she did..I thanked her of course and went on my way, I tell ya', that iced vanilla latte never tasted so good..never.
Hope you are experiencing some 'tasty' moments in life. Again, the cards, letters, hugs, calls, emails and more sure are warm and comforting, thank you so very much.

Thank you Lord for this day...for the sun, moon and stars..sounds silly, but hey, never underestimate the simple act of saying 'thank you' for these things and more..

Much Love to you all..Celebrate Life.

Bill & Abbey

Still so..

Yes, so surreal. Of course, grieving..sometimes even 'talk' to Becky, but I think this is just natural. Yes, daily functioning, living ,taking walks, eating, smiling, some laughter along with the tears. Abbey doing good, getting out with friends..We talk openly, still just say, 'wow, this is really strange, different'..
And as I have said before, God hears our cries, He knows our needs, the needs of our heart and soul..

Hope all is well with you...may your summer have some laughter..good food and time with family and friends.

Celebrate life,

Bill & Abbey

Cards..notes..

Cards, notes, letters so comforting..so soothing. I know the time will soon come when they will not frequent the mailbox, but for now, they come and they truly help in the grieving process..
So thankful for these..

Celebrate life..

Bill and Abbey

Now..

We are trying to adjust to our 'new' reality, Abbey and me. The word that comes to mind and one that we have expresed lately is just plain and simple: "weird". Of course, surreal still seems appropriate, along with other life labels...Emotion does come in waves..the home is good to be in and sometimes, good to be in a neutral location, away from here..but home does have wonderful memories, not just the tough times of illness, nope, not at all, indeed there are some great snapshots of celebrating life and love within these walls..
Now, we do know Mom, Becky is now living free, NO walls in her home, she is celebrating a new life..in a world we can only imagine. We are grateful for the promise of this eternal life..

Hope all is well with you..May you indeed celebrate, enjoy life here on this earth. There is much good to embrace, to pursue..

As time goes on, I know I will reflect on the journey we were on and have words to express about this journey. But for this moment, just got to think about this 'new' chapter, this present day, this immediate night and press on. Carry on...

Much love to you..

Bill and Abbey..

The day...

Hard to express the awe and heartwarming emotion Abbey and I felt when seeing the chapel in overflow. We will never forget it and of course, we will never forget the day. Seeing, embracing, consoling with so many people is one way that deeply soothes us, provides solace and healing. We felt it.. we needed it.We thank God for this..

Thank you for your comments and assurances..There was so much more I wanted to say in my words that day. Ronda spoke from her heart and my sweet daughter Abbey relayed her thoughts so lovingly, so poised, so real and these are not all my accolades, so many have commented on the grace, maturity and transparency she displayed. As you see, the foundation for her life is there..

The week of leading up to the service was one of extreme emotion and yet having to garner every bit of focus possible, in order to make sure all was in place for Saturday. Sleep was elusive..and needless to say, tears were abundant..

The chapel-service was ready for the day. I do thank all who helped make this day what it was..Ronda, Ronda..help me Ronda..and you did..you are wonderful..thank you again for your words, your tribute to a best friend..The day would not have been what is was without you..NO way. Thank you to the family of pallbearers..thanks men. Thanks to the funeral director Shari, for doing such a professional and compassionate job. The wonderful, gifted pastors Glen, Jason, Harry, music Mark..and Bill from Journey Of Faith, thank you, thank you..love you guys..I am so thankful, grateful for Journey Of Faith church in Manhattan Beach for being the body that really does display, act, and deliver on what it means to be the hands and feet of Christ.
Thank you for the music, the songs my brother "J"..you transformed us..big love to you..

I also want to thank those from my childhood hometown in North Carolina for praying, for the calls, for sending the cards and letters, and thank you to my childhood church....I really appreciate your love and support..

This has been an almost 4 year road..Thank you City Of Hope for the past two years of care. As told, Becky spent approx. 200 days and nights there and had probably 75 or more visits, so we got to know that dwelling/location quite well. There are no perfect hospitals, no perfect physicians, no perfect nurses, none, but City Of Hope does provide the comprehensive care that exceeds many. Becky's nurse, the very first day of Becky's in-patient hospital admittance was at the service. We will never forget you, never. Becky often said, she was in the best place she could be...she was so thankful..And so thankful for her primary physician that ordered the extra test in Dec 07', which revealed signs of trouble, thankful for the hematologist that immediately saw her in Santa Monica for a few months, then recommended Dr. Snyder at City Of Hope for the adult stem cell transplant which was Oct 09'.. As I have said, we beat the Myelofibrosis, the 'other' just became the insurmountable nemesis.
Again, there are so many we could thank, the families ( you know who you are) that took care ( and still taking care) of Abbey over the past 3 or so years..We love you so much..I mean really we do. You are family. Thank you to the friends and neighbors who have been so supportive, you know who you are also..thank you for the food, water, gifts and comforting shoulders. To my men's group..love you guys, thank you for the awesome support....I am so very grateful to my workplace for being flexible and accommodating, thanks Scott & Sharon so, so much, and big thanks to my co-worker for Mz. "E" being there.

Thank you to Abbey's schools for being so supportive, caring and understanding. You really were/are so much a part of this road less taken..We will never forget your love, never. Thanks to my friend for driving me to the hospital a couple of pivotal days.. I mean thanks so much dude. Thank you to all who have been keeping up via the blog..thank you for following this journey, which by the way, STILL continues..there is more to be done, more to say and do. If time and constitution are in supply, this story will go beyond the blog...But for now, healing, life, getting back to some reality is on the agenda..plain and simple.
To our families, Abbey and I say/send much love to you..much, much love..
I know I have forgotten many that have been a part of this chapter in our lives..The many that have prayed for us, sent cards, made a quick call, run errands, shared a tear, visited the hospital! I mean thank you..thank you sooo much...Oh and thanks to E & C for sending the picture!

Becky, my wife of 19 years..is now running free in glory..Abbey and I are comforted in this. We are, of course, trying to grip our loss..trying to find reality, doing the best we can to carry on, and yet, carry on we will, we must. I was given/blessed with a great wife, a woman of strength, kindness, grace, wisdom, great courage, and deep, deep love for family and God...Abbey was given a mother of the same traits, plus unconditional love..and Becky taught her what true beauty is..Inside and Out..

What does tomorrow hold? Cliche statement; we just don't know.

We make plans, then life happens. But we still gotta make plans, keep the hand on the plow. I will selfishly ask the Lord for many more years on earth to watch my daughter grow and thread her way in the big, real world. Honestly though, I think she will be OK...she has just been/is incredible.

Again, we are so overwhelmed with the service..it was beautiful to us..thank you.
Thank you God for your undergirding this journey, you are truly faithful, when we are faithless. You heard my prayers, saw the tears, the frustration, the impatience, you saw-heard the cursing along with the praise. We know you are continuing to oversee us as we carry on..dream on, live on. Glory to you..

And please, please to you all I say, as we have always said..

Celebrate life! Really Celebrate life.

Love,

Bill & Abbey

PS. I went to the Santa Monica pier the other day, just me, hadn't been there in like forever. I had dropped Abbey off at another location. I actually rode the carousel..Becky and I loved carousels, we swirled on one during our honeymoon. I was indeed celebrating life and good memories.