Stuff...

Over the past year..I have been going through 'stuff'..clothes and other items.  Of Becky's and yes, my own stuff!  I have dropped off at a favorite place Becky liked.  Today, I took some general items..not too many clothes.  An office chair that I could still see Becky sitting in..As I drove away, I looked back at that solitary chair..alone claiming its small domain on the sidewalk outside of the destination I left it.  I stared back..I had slight emotion,  the measure of it was much less in swell and duration than previous drop-offs.  I thought to myself..yes, wow, life is really moving on, how should I feel?  Well, not to over analyze, just think this is what it is..go with it...and go with the thought that the chair will also move on to a good home..it was time, Becky would like this. 

Much Love,

Bill

A big PS.  Also preparing to go to my childhood home to go thru, purge stuff....This home has been a constant for my entire life.  A Norman Rockwell type childhood I had.  Still returned many, many times over the years.  Sometimes 2 to 3 times a year.  This will be an emotional time.  But, must do this task. 

Two Years..

Two years, May 23rd, 2011....hard to believe.  So much time, yet so close also.  The morning was spent at the cemetery..Abbey and I.  Always a time of great reflection, sometimes expressed in sweet and not-so-sweet auditory recall and sometimes just silent and still expression.  We could not believe the calendar pages had turned 24 months..but the sun does rise and set in continuum, it will not wait for you...and that's OK.  After I took Abbey to school, I went to City Of Hope hospital.  Just something I had to do...I saw Dr. Snyder, the lead physician, I told him I was coming and he responded in positive tone.  He was indeed where he said he would be.  I gave him a hug..which as I have mentioned, he should try to do a little more with patients, but I do understand the bacteria element can come into play.  Yes, those germs can get on/off his pristine while coat and perhaps cause a little altercation with another patient's immune system.  It was a good day at the hospital reflecting and also seeing sweet nurse Emily who was so very significant and special during the journey.  So good to hug her and talk life past and present, and so good to see others who were supportive and caring while Becky was there.  I walked the grounds, the frontal grass, the rose garden where I had exerted immeasurable emotion, said words of praise and words not so pleasant..
I am glad I went..I knew in my heart and soul I wanted to be at COH on this day..and it was completed.  Becky was grateful to be at COH and that's enough for me..
I honestly don't know when I will return..perhaps next year at Bone Marrow/Stem Cell reunion/celebration..when a recipient meets a donor for the first time. I think I would like to see this once..God Bless those earthly angels who donate their marrow, their stem cells.  I drove off at seemingly the time I would frequently drive away when Becky was there..the late afternoon...or sunset time.  I looked back at the hospital and whispered 'thank you'..then turned my head to of course, focus forward..and that is what must happen and is happening..a look back to say 'thank you', while also looking forward..
God Bless and keep you all...He knew our needs..and still does..

Work hard..but never forget how to have a little fun...

Love,

Bill