An anniversary..and other...

July 27th would have been our 21st wedding anniversary..I remember that warm, some would say blazing day under the big yellow and white tent in Chatsworth, CA..The newly constructed church had not been approved for large gatherings..The tent was actually quite appropriate and welcoming.  You could even see the shadow of birds fly over the yellow and white tent panels..Cue the birds: these fly-over moments did somehow enhance this monumental day.  Of course, I had an emotionally mixed day of remembering that day in July, but ever so grateful, even though at the time..so very nervous!!!..Aren't we all?
My sweet daughter prepared a wonderful dinner on this July 27th...we had a great night of conversation.  So special are these times to talk.  During the anniversary day (and countless other days)..I recalled/recall moments that showed Becky's great inner strength..She was indeed quiet and meek at times, but oh so true and strong.   I recalled quite a few instances or circumstances that became indelible moments in our early relationship and beyond.  I was surprised and delighted when these instances occurred in the early relational stages...for they propelled me toward her...They were 'turning points', they were 'wow factor' moments..and Of course, I will never forget them... 
I can only assume, in all our relationships, we can recall indelible imprints upon our minds and hearts..  Becky indeed had great strength..courage, as well as, the moments of fragility of vulnerability.   She loved God..she was true, she walked the walk..Our marriage sure had its desert times, the sandpaper days, but we did our best to communicate..to 'talk it out',  to pray for love to overcome all obstacles...
And now I say, are we 'moving on?'  Abbey and I.  Yes, I think we are.  I pray my daughter will continually adjust without her earthly mother...I know she is adjusting,  coping.  There could be an 'emotional safe' where feelings, emotions are being stored, blanketed and perhaps one day years from now will be released...perhaps we all do this.  But in a young teen, perhaps more-so.  But I do see a healthy release as the current days and months pass..I see a daughter doing things a young teen would want to do..And our talks are transparent and so very, very real.

Yes, we are moving on..to carve out a 'new' life..new chapters..new adventures..
Dear God, your will be done..

Hope all is well with you who read this..I thank you very much for taking the time to glance at this blog.  As mentioned, I know one day this blog will cease, and perhaps one day soon...but a few entries still feel therapeutic and appropriate.  Thanks again for your love, prayers and support..

Onward..forward..
Bill

Some days..

Some days...well most everyday, you reflect on the journey...the years of trial and triumph.  Does the reflection 'pain' get easier or lighter?   Yes, it does..yet indeed there are those very heavy recall or revisit moments.  But some recall gives you a smile..a snapshot moment that warms the heart and soul...
Abbey and I, we are carving out our changed or 'new' life..I think we are doing OK. Having good days. We are 13 months removed from Becky's passing..and need I say, we carry, we harbor the wonderful, unconditional love and memory of Becky..Her indelible, immense and immeasurable print on our lives..The demands of life will not retreat; the work, school, bill-paying, and other responsibilities...ya just have to learn or discern just what is important , what may have consequence on health and safety, or finances, and what will not...and while doing this try to never forget how to enjoy and celebrate the gift of life here on earth...as difficult as it may be..and we all know, life can get soul-searingly difficult, one must try to give a big shout-out on the days that went well..or had a measure of accomplishment, or even simple chores were done..a good trip or vacation was realized, or a good meal was shared with friends and family..Hope you are well..Good health and many, many blessings to you..

Bill and Abbey
PS. Thought this was a sweet pic of remembrance...