A page turner...new chapter

Page turner...new chapter..surreal, but oh so real...

These have been my bumper sticker words for the past few weeks and more.
Abbey is now in college back east.(south)  The process has been almost job-like, as in a daily stick-to-it regimen.  Such as:  'let's see what this or that university offers'..'let's try to visit', 'let's talk to someone who has been there'.. academics, location, financial parameters and more..this was our menu.
So, she is now gone..That last hug was tough, but knew it would be.  I knew walking in the home upon return from the move-in would be a heavy heart-string moment, and it was.  I knew the first days, or weeks would be, will be heartfelt, as I walk by her room..BUT, again I knew this..but still adjustment is the word that surfaces now.  Ya know, its OK, it really is.  A new life-chapter is here, new endeavors to pursue.  I am sure many, many other parents are enduring the same monumental change and they too will adjust.  Abbey is experiencing the college 'learning curve'..new people, environment, new friends..and I can say, she is making new friends..some good ones! Yeah! Go AB!  I met them actually, for I stayed a few weeks after the big move-in.  We made an agreement I would stay thru my Bday 9-3, thus I was able to return to the school for the Bday and subsequently meet her new friends.  I am pleased to see the friendships are still enduring.  Oh sure, the length of the college years will see friends ebb and flow but perhaps a few of these early 'we're in this new world together' friends will remain. We shall see.  The Bday was dinner was great.  A gentle southern rainy night...talk of her classes, of what interests will perhaps arise, of the dining hall food, or the activities she will participate in, and of course, talk of the future..what could perhaps happen and what she/we would want to happen.
So now, over a month later. She has had some learning experiences, but that's all good in this new chapter.  Experiencing the nuances, dynamics of college life, the living closely with others, and TIME management, (a big one).     She enjoys the nature surrounding her, takes some fulfilling walks and runs.  Even doing a Yoga, Zumba class.    Likes the football games, the off-campus activities with her friends, and the library she likes..woo hoo!  Yes, she misses home.  Of course she would as most freshmen do, but she knows she is in the right place.  And I/we thank God for this right place.  And I think she has found a church...we will see, but her heightened voice and words reflect the excitement, contentment she feels when she is at this worship center.

I am reinventing..thinking of many possibilities.  I am seriously considering a move back south or perhaps another region.   I feel stirred.  I feel like this is a moment in time that postures a move.  BUT we shall see.  I have been in LA for many years, have deep roots here, great, great friends, but again, the stir-move remains, the restlessness also.  I pray for clarity..while I make action moves to stay or go... to be content here or put up the sails and sail on.  But always knowing, I WILL return periodically to LA.  Need I state the wonderful moments I have had here..The wife I had here for almost 20 years, the daughter birthed and raised here..the friends, family I have here..the almost dream-like entertainment moments I have had here and the churches I have been a part of, of how I was able to walk to a church from my first apartment, re-dedicate my life to God and meet Becky at this church.  Logistically, I could not have done this at any other location I have lived in LA,  I am so humbled at this. I am grateful for the steady job I had for many years..wow, a super, 'regular' day job it was.. I am grateful to have had so many sweet, wonderful, fulfilling, very challenging, trial-laced, low valley, and mountain-peak moments in this crazy, sometimes overwhelming, sometimes embracing, supremely opportunistic city of millions.  I have been an entertainer-performer, a DJ/MC for A-list parties, for princes, met a president, performed for many entertainment icons and business icons.  I am truly not saying this to boast, just stating it to state it..nothing to it.  Becky would often say to me..sometimes ya just gotta state what you do honey.    So I just did in a capsulized version.
And now, onward forward.  As earlier mentioned, perhaps time for re-invention, perhaps not a gravitation toward entertainment..I would be OK with it..I will see just what lures me, what talons will grasp the contentment part of my heart and soul.   I can always have some great moments in my man cave with the music or whatever. 

If you are reinventing, then go forth into that uncertain territory with courage.  If you are content with your circumstance, then be content, contentment can really be OK.  Enjoy it. 

RE: Blog/Journal.  I know I have mentioned many times..'this may be it, today I cease with writing in the blog.  Well, I am saying it again.  This chapter has closure...or a location move will dictate the closing words.  I just know this, so glad Becky;s illness was documented here, and go glad the grief path was put into words..  So glad all this was done.  The future talk..the talk of me being ready for companionship, Abbey's life-walk, all good for me to express here in my blog friend.

May you have a great day or evening.  God give you peace in your walk.  Be serious, but never forget how to have fun.  Talk a walk, take a ride, car or bike.  Celebrate, embrace what is good..

Much Love,

Bill